“I didn’t always know what I wanted to do, but I always knew the woman I wanted to be – I knew I wanted to be a woman who was independent, a woman who was in the driving seat, a woman who didn’t need for the man to decide.”
— Diane Von Furstenberg
I’ve always loved this quote. It’s one of my mantra’s. I graduated from FIDM back in March of this year and was (f)unemployed for about five months following. Although I’ve been interning for Offbeat Bride and second shooting weddings for Megan Finley Photography, which have both been incredible and I feel so lucky to have both opportunities. They aren’t enough to sustain a living (yet!). Plus, I still had all kinds of free time. And I’m the kind of person that needs to be busy. I really like working hard. It makes me feel like I have a purpose and some control over my life.
When I first moved to LA I got a sales job at Club Monaco and I freakin’ loved it. I was there for a year and a half when I got offered a job to be an assistant manager at a tween concept shop. It felt like the next logical step in my career. Unfortunately, due to the economy it went out of business about five months later. Leaving me unemployed about two months until graduation.
So the job hunt was on. As y’all know, in this economy it’s nearly impossible to get a job, let alone a good one. And now that I had been an assistant manager, I did not want to go back to being a sales associate. Plus, I was done working retail. Although I’ve always loved my jobs, anyone who has worked in retail understands how exhausting it can be. It would be nice to have a consistent schedule and weekends off.
However, after four months of mass resume emailing, phone calls, interviews, second interviews, etc. I was about ready to give up. Reluctantly, I decided to apply for a retail sales jobs again. Well, after the first interview I was offered a job. But I still wasn’t sure and I was hesitant to accept the position. I really wanted something more and I didn’t want to have to give up my AMAZING internship at OBB or stop photographing weddings. (I mean, Megan and Ariel fucking rock!!!!) Plus, the location is eight miles away, which means an hour commute in LA. And was I really ready to go back to retail?
Well, I spoke with my new manager and we worked out a way that I could work there without having to quit my other “jobs.” So I accepted the job. And boy am I glad I did it. Soon after starting, I realized that I actually love retail. I had just forgotten. I fucking love clothes and I love helping people find the perfect piece that makes them feel bananas amazing. It’s really rewarding when a customer leaves thanking you for all your good advice and great suggestions. Also, I really like being around people. I can be alone but it’s not my preferred state.
And I am so fucking happy now, that it scares me.
To be completely honest, I’m still not sure what I want to do when I “grow up.” I wish I was one of those people who had a “calling” (like my dad or sister, who both always knew they wanted to go into the medical field). But that’s not me.
In spite of this, there is one thing that I know and have always known, and that’s the woman who I want to be (thanks to my very determined, hard-working and fearless mother/mentor). Wherever my career and life may end up leading me, I know that I will always be a woman who is independent; A woman who is driven; A woman who is respected; A woman who believes in herself; A woman who is capable of great things.
That is what drives me and I’m gonna make it happen. (Whatever it happens to be.)